Art with Cause



Copyright notice: All original photographs, images, designs and text appearing in Art with Cause Blog are the property of J.Murray and are protected under United States and international copyright laws. The images may not be reproduced, copied, stored, or manipulated without the written permission from the Artist: Jessica J. Murray. No images are within Public Domain. Use of any image as the basis for another photographic concept or illustration is a violation of copyright.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Keep on keeping on

I know I preach: Create!
I know you think: I don't sit home all day in a studio like you do. I don't get to research on the web while my paint dries. My time is stretched over family, work, and other important things.
You should know - time is limited for me as well...

Earlier this year I vowed to myself that I would expose myself a bit more and let myself be more vulnerable because I want my paintings to show my soul and a raw honesty. So in the spirit of keeping it real, I will share with you a bit of my struggle.

I am the busiest unemployed person you will ever meet. I spend most of my day looking for a job (God forbid I miss a great opportunity), and even more time networking. I volunteer at all sorts of things - never want to be accused of sitting back enjoying life while collecting unemployment. I am paying it back every way I can. (and some say I don't have to, but it is the kind of person I am) All this business doesn't change from day to day... I am busy!
...and now more has been added to my plate.
My child plays soccer, which is a huge commitment on a parent and school has started. (Anyone wanna contribute to our fund-raising efforts?) His practices are only an hour and a half long in the evenings, but has taken a huge chunk to time away from me (with transportation... snack and homework before... etc). I am not complaining. I love watching him flourish, but it is honestly harder to create. Just as it is time to pick him up I get this great idea and don't have the time to put it down on paper and by the time I do - it is gone.
Stress sucks creativity out of you. Not having a job or enough unemployment to cover our bills is a bit crippling from time to time. sigh
And my financial buffer that helped us get this far through it (a.k.a. the room mate) is moving out. Which is a whole different set of stressers and time consumers: Sorting out my stuff to make sure her stuff didn't end up mixed in - packing up - boxes everywhere - can't even reach my easel... sigh

I shared all this just to say: I have EVERY EXCUSE (legitimately) NOT TO CREATE.

But I must. I am NOT feeling as inspired as I usually do. But I must keep going. My creations don't have to be amazing. But it must keep flowing from me.
I have been here before and stopped creating. It dries you up really fast. Then it feels like moving a mountain - to pick up a pencil to draw. (If that is where you are, start scribbling!!! You will find your way in practice not in thoughful preparation.)

So I am on this journey to keep on creating.
I will share with you my struggles along the way. Maybe it can inspire you - maybe I will fail and you can see where I took the wrong turn. Maybe it is all a waste of time for you. Maybe it is just for me that I share - keeping me accountable for my actions.
All I know is I cannot stop creating. I dried up and it killed me. Yes, I died once and now have been given a second chance at life. (an abstract story for another time)
So, I am off to crochet - I can reach my yarn even if I cannot reach my easel. Something will pour out of me...

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